Top Ten Types of Stockbrokers #1

Posted by Norb Vonnegut on 12/09/09 • Categorized as Advisers

#1 GROVE O’ROURKEs

The moment is here. After several weeks of suspense and white knuckles, Acrimoney presents the number one type of stockbroker: GROVE O’ROURKEs. GroveProfile

They make money in down markets, convert capital market chaos into clarity with language anybody can understand, and always do the right thing. They run marathons in under three hours, occasionally losing time to help frail pedestrians cross streets. They sniff out Ponzi schemes a mile away and are available any time day or night to discuss client portfolios.

They’re outraged by bailouts that turn into banker bonuses, but they don’t allow politics to distract them from their primary mission: managing your money. They don’t work for Goldman. And they cringe when Lloyd Blankfein claims to do “God’s work.”

GROVE O’ROURKEs work for you. Fiercely loyal, they’ll tell their organizations, “Take a hike,” when your interests are at stake. They aren’t perfect, but you’ll forgive their foibles because you trust them and care about them because they care about you. The only problem is GROVE O’ROURKEs are pure fiction and exist only inside the pages of Top Producer, my latest novel.

Norb Vonnegut

About the author

Norb Vonnegut wrote 158 articles on this blog.

Do you ever feel the financial news makes no sense? Do stories leave you with more questions than answers? I created Acrimoney to discuss Wall Street’s behavior behind the headlines. As a veteran of a wealth management business that exceeded $1 billion in assets, I offer insight into the people and the “doings” that affect your money. I’ll start the discussion. But I hope you’ll jump in and say what you think.